Issue #8 - Awakening into Awareness - December, 2000
A free ezine dedicated to
exploring the nature of Reality and
the experience of Realization
Metta Zetty, Editor email: AIA@awakening.net
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AIA's 1st Online Mentoring Intensive
December 26, 2000 -- January 8, 2001
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· AIA's first online Mentoring Intensive
· International Conference on Altered States
· AIA's New "In This Moment" Affiliate Program
* "The End of Seeking"
· An excerpt from _How About Now?_
- Arjuna Nick Ardagh
* Wisdom and Insights
· Awake into Awareness
- Herman Hesse
· The Source of Suffering
- Jean Marc-Mantel
· What You Notice
- Michael Chitwood
- Jack Kornfield
· Become a Buddha
- Zen Monastery Sign
* Mentoring Letter
· Nothing is Missing
* Metta's Reflections
· Beyond All Seeking...
· Luminescent Present
· Recognize the Miraculous
· Revelation of Reality
· Creative Impulse
* Reader Reflections
· The Actuality of Life
- James Ayers-DiPadua
- Roger Cotgreave
* Reader Resources
· The Wei Wu Wei Archives
* General Information
· About Awakening into Awareness
· Ezine Subscriptions
· Back Issues, Copies and Reprints
· AIA Mailing Lists
· Insight Mentoring
· Support AIA
I am pleased to share several announcements and new AIA
developments with you:
` AIA's first online Insight Mentoring intensive, "Beyond
Seeking..." began *today* and will run for two weeks
(through Monday, January 8, 2001). We will be accepting
registrations through Wednesday, December 27, 2000 (in
advance of our first practice chat session at 9:00pm CST),
and we would be delighted to have you join us!
` I have been honored by an invitation from The Message
Company to present at the first annual International
Conference on Altered States of Consciousness, which
will be held in Albuquerque, New Mexico, Nov. 2-7, 2001:
In conjunction with this conference I will be conducting
private mentoring sessions, upon request, and will look
forward to sharing more with those of you who will be
able to attend!
` If you have a link to AIA, it can now be income producing,
through AIA's new "In This Moment" affiliate program:
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The End of Seeking By Arjuna Nick Ardagh
From _How About Now?_ http://www.livingessence.com/
The following passage is an excerpt from Arjuna Nick Ardagh's
newest book, _How About Now: Satsang with Arjuna_. Although
this excerpt is relatively long, I have included it almost in
its entirety because it points so magnificently to the Reality
In addition, I have taken the liberty of including a few links
at occasional points in this text to emphasize the wisdom
inherent in Arjuna's words. My suggestion is to read through
this passage first, and then review the links on a second
[Reprinted with gracious permission from Arjuna Nick Ardagh.]
* * * * *
Seeker: You say that nothing happens, and all it takes is
this second. Then why isn't it happening this second to me
and everybody in this room? Why are people spending hours
with you, or two days, if it really is true that nothing
happens and all you need is the longing? Why isn't it
Arjuna: Because of accumulated concepts.
S: Why can't the accumulated concepts just be released in
A: They can.
S: Why aren't they?
A: Why aren't they? Because they are being clung to.
S: Why can't they be released right now?
A: They can. You want to uncling right now?
A: Come up here. But beware, I mean business!
(She walks up to the raised podium.)
A: What is it you really want, sitting here. Do you really
want to be finished with seeking?
A: Could you let that be stronger than the need to be right?
S: My mind goes blank when you ask these questions.
A: That doesn't matter. Just answer from your heart. Could
you let the longing to be finished with seeking be stronger
than the need to be right about anything?
A: So, as you sit here, with a new face in front of you, a
new person, just keep the eyes as they are. That's right.
(Incidentally, just for your reference, you are completely
ripe. You are dropping from the tree already. You just
need to be blown upon.)
[ See: "Ripening into Awakening"
A: So just now, sitting here, seeing this form, noticing
what's occurring -- who is noticing these things? Just
look back into yourself and find out, "Who am I?"
S: I go blank.
A: Very good. Just stay there with "I go blank." When
you ask yourself, "Who am I?" what is found?
A: Nothing, okay. Now just rest as this. From here,
was there every anything that answered to that question?
A: No, okay. Now could you just relax a little more into
what has been see? Could you just relax for a moment into
the actuality that there is nothing there called "I?" Could
you, just for a moment, relax into the recognition that there
is nobody experiencing this?
S: I can't believe that.
A: It doesn't matter. You don't need to believe it. It
has been seen, hasn't it? You have asked, "Whom am I?"
and nothing was found. Now just for a moment, could you
just savor the inevitability of it?
S: Nothing changes. I'm looking for something to feel
A: Exactly. What did Buddha say? "Nothing happened to me
under the bodhi tree."
[ See "Nothing to Achieve, Nowhere to Go":
A: Waiting for something to happen is what you have been
doing all your life. Do you understand? Your entire life
you have been waiting for an experience, and this is called
Now tell me, could you just for a moment stop waiting for
something to happen?
S: I don't know.
A: I'm not asking you to do it. I'm just asking theoretically:
could you just put aside the habit of waiting? Is it possible
to put that aside for a moment?
S: My mind goes so blank when I...
A: Exactly! Of course it goes blank. Could you relax into
blankness? Blankness is where it's at! Just be blank for a
moment. You see, you're waiting for a fireworks display,
which is just another experience.
[ See: "We are That"
A: When you get down to the nitty gritty, you are left with
no experience at all, and it's unfamiliar. It is not what
the mind is expecting. The mind has an entire fabrication
set up about enlightenment.
S: Well, "freedom," it sounds pretty good. This "nothing"
doesn't feel like that.
[ See: "It's Not What You Expected"
A: Be a little patient! We can go much deeper.
S: We're not there yet? o that's another experience.
A: No. We're here. But we may not have relaxed fully into
here yet, do you see? For instance, we're in Fairfield, Iowa,
right? But as long as we're still craving Paris, we haven't
quite relaxed into being in Fairfield. It is as though you
have been journeying and journeying and you finally arrive
in Fairfield. You park the car, but you are so much in the
habit of journeying that it takes a moment to relax and
realize, "We have arrived!"
S: Well, this is it?
A: This has always been it.
S: Yes, but this can't be it. It's nothing.
A: That's right! It's nothing!
S: But so what?!
[ See: "Flatness and the Undesirability of Emptiness"
A: Exactly! That is the point! So what? Why make such a
big deal about something so simple?
S: But if my body were in the midst of severe pain right
now, I know that this wouldn't do it. I think I would still
be extraordinarily attached and that I would be thinking,
"So what. I'm not experiencing freedom in this." Do you
know what I mean?
A: Yes. I understand. Yet the one thing I can tell you
is that when you touch into that blankness, if you could
savor it for what it is, it would give you what you want.
You discard it right away because you are more interested
in having experiences. You overlook what is hidden in
What you are passing through is what everyone passes through.
Something is happening for you because I can see it in your
eyes. Something is beginning to take you over. So just
hang in there, okay? You may say this is nothing, but I
wonder why your eyes are so shiny all of a sudden!
Everything is up to valuing. If you are addicted to having
more experiences, more change, more ways to make life
comfortable, then you are going to trip across freedom and
overlook it completely. You are too addicted to this realm
and trying to make life better. Immediately you say, "Well,
if I were in pain, this wouldn't help me alleviate the pain."
This is not medicine. This is freedom.
Nisargadatta Maharaj, one of the greatest teachers of this
century, was once asked, "In what way will realization
benefit my life materially?" And he replied, "In no way
whatsoever. If you are trying to attain self-improvement
from this, forget all about it."
S: I don't want self-improvement. I want to feel better,
to feel more happiness, freedom, joy, love. Doesn't
everybody? Isn't that normal?
A: That is normal, and that's called being hooked into
samsara (the continual flow of desires). What will result
from chasing more joy and more happiness? You will
experience suffering because they go together. Chasing
after happiness and joy and all these things only brings
you more and more suffering because of your attachment to
them. At a certain point, you begin to realize that it
is all a trick. It's called samsara; it's called maya
(illusion). Then you're ready to find out, "Who Am I?"
Ask it now. Are you ready to give up the pursuit of
happiness, of pleasure and the acquisition of the
The funny thing is, you'll get it all back again, with
interest. But you can't do it for that reason. You
will get everything you want, but for now you have to
choose freedom and only freedom.
When I met my teacher, Poonjaji, I told him with
absolute sincerity, not poetically, "I am ready to die
if that is what is required. I am perfectly willing
for this body to die. There is no hesitation in me."
And it was true. I was completely ready to give up
S: I'm too scared.
A: That is honest. But again, at least now, ask
yourself, "Who am I?" Just ask it. Who is aware
here? Who is present? Just ask that. Really ask,
"Who is aware of all this occurring?"
(There is no answer.)
A: Ah, there is silence. This word, "I," what does
it refer to? You see, you can take the word, "jacket"
and it has an object that goes with it -- name and form,
you see? You can take the word "watch," a five-letter
word, which is a symbol for an object. Now this word,
"I," find the object that belongs with it. There is
nothing like that. Just stay with this for a little
bit. There is nothing like "I," is that true? And
yet this moment is being experienced. It is not being
experienced by an "I" or "me" because there is nothing
like that which exists. So what experiences this moment?
S: I don't know.
A: But it is being experienced, isn't it? This is
definitely being experienced.
S: It feels like some individual something.
A: Then look for it. Look for the individual something;
just seek it out.
S: It can't be found, but that does not mean it's not
A: In eight years of teaching in this way, full time
every day, no one has ever, ever been able to find it.
S: But something has to be experiencing this, or we
wouldn't be here. There is something that is me, and
there is something that is you. There is something.
A: That's what you have been told. Just stay with
what can actually be verified. Can you find a thing
called "I?" There is a body, but can you find this
Can you find it?
A: Yet this is being experienced. All this is just
common sense, isn't it? You can't find an "I." I
have worked with thousands of people. Not one of
them has been able to find the thing they call "I,"
[ See: "Emptiness"
A: I watched Poonjaji work with thousands of people.
Now I am not saying that everybody rests in emptiness
when they can't find the "I." A lot of people just
recreate the concept again. It is up to you.
S: I don't want to do that.
A: Then don't do it.
A: Starting hitting your knee with your hand.
(She pats her knee.)
A: Do it hard, harder.
(She hits her knee harder.)
A: Now stop.
You see, you stopped. You just stopped because hitting
your knee is a silly thing to do. How are you going to
stop imagining something that is not there? Just stop.
You stop because it is ridiculous to keep recreating
something that does not exist. It doesn't serve any
purpose. It just creates unnecessary suffering. If
you want to suffer some more, if you want to continue
chasing after desire, then that's your brand of freedom.
It is your option. But if you choose to rest in this
recognition, you are also welcome. Right now, like it
or not, it is being rested in.
A: Thank you for at least acknowledging that. Right
now there is resting. Now just stay here for a moment
and answer one more thing. In this moment there is
nothing, right? Is there any problem now?
A: Is there anything that needs to be attained now?
Could you just rest? There is nothing to hang onto
anyway. Now tell me, resting as this, just answer
one simple question from your heart, not from concept.
Who are you actually meeting here? Not the form, but
who is looking back at you now? Answer this from
S: Clearly me.
A: Shout it out!
S: Clearly me!
A: This is the truth. It is not poetry. It is not
hallucination. You are literally sitting here with
your Self. Now look around for a moment; look at
the eyes and see who is here in the room.
How many are there in this room?
S: I know the answer, but I go blank.
A: So come back here. Who are you meeting here?
Slowly, if you can put this on your altar instead
of the bric-a-brac you have had there -- including
all your seeking and your many practices -- if you
can put this emptiness on your altar, slowly you
will see "me" everywhere. By "me" I mean this
"Me" that is everyone.
You go to the market. Look into the eyes of the
person who is checking out your groceries. "There
I am again!" It is all you everywhere, and it is
not just philosophy. It is actually true. Now
tell me one thing now. In this moment here, is
there anything real called "ego?"
S: You want the truth?
A: Yes. I want to know if you can find it, not
think about it.
S: I think I can think of it.
A: Yes, you can think of elephants dancing in pink
underwear. It doesn't mean they are here. You can
think of anything. Anything can be created in thought.
Is there something real here called "ego"?
A: Was there ever anything real called "ego?"
S: In those moments of its absence, no.
A: Even in the moments when it appears to exist, is
there actually something called "ego" or is there an
imagining of it?
A: Do you understand that? It is imagination. The
entire spiritual path is all imagination. It is the
imagining of something called "ego" that then has to
be removed. What a struggle to work so hard to banish
something that is not there! This is a waste of time.
All spiritual seeking is a waste of time. It is a
waste of life.
Could you just rest here now? Could you burn all the
concepts that you have ben fed? You don't have to do
it. I am just asking, could you?
A: Will you? What would be the advantage of going
back to imagining all kinds of trouble and having to
get rid of it?
S: I'm just afraid that the habit would come back.
It is so strong.
A: The invitation is available.
Is there anything real in this moment called "mind?"
Can you find something called mind?
S: I can find something that operates a lot.
A: You find thoughts. Can you find a thing called
A: These thoughts that arise, do they interfere
with being what you are?
S: They don't, but it feels like they do.
A: What is the actuality?
S: They don't.
A: The invitation is here to remain as This.
[ See: "This Awakening"
You have your choice to give your allegiance to "I
can't do this" and then, of course, that becomes
true. But know that there is also the invitation
just to put that thought aside and realize that
there is nobody who has to do anything. This is
Do you want to try something really outrageous?
Tell them (points to the others in the room) who
you really are. Because this is what it takes,
you see....Tell them now, them who you really are.
S: I feel terrified.
A: Then all the more reason to do it. "Screw your
courage to the sticking place," as Lady Macbeth said.
Sooner or later you will have to do it. Sooner or
later you will have to come out of the closet if you
want to live this. Sooner or later you will have to
meet the world as one no longer seeking. Why not now?
S: I guess I don't believe it. I don't personally
believe it. I go in and out so much.
A: I understand. If you listen to thought at all,
it is going to invalidate everything.
Do you understand why? Because this realization
basically is the death of the thought machine.
Thought screams out, "Don't listen to that guy.
He's dangerous. He's a charlatan." Because if
you listen to this guy, thought no longer will
have rule in your kingdom. Every single thought
is revealed to be a lie, every one. You can live
your life perfectly well without thinking at all.
A: Absolutely. In fact things go much better.
S: What a relief!
A: I want to qualify that for a moment so there
is just truth spoken here....[What is different is...]
the abandonment of seeking, that's all. The content
does not necessarily change. Thoughts arise, and
feelings come and go. But there is no longer this
concept, "I should be different." It is from here
that peace arises. It is not the way you thought
it was. Essentially you were waiting to escape
from being human. I suggest you embrace being
human. Enjoy being human.
Just now, you see? Just now you are at peace. You
are perfectly at peace. There is nothing wrong in
this moment, is there? Is there any problem if a
thought comes? Does it matter if a thought passes
S: Truthfully, they feel annoying. It's more
peaceful to not have all these thoughts of
"What about this, and what about that?"
A: Yes, but could you just let them pass? Let me
ask you, before the thoughts arise, do you decide
to have them?
A: They just appear anyway, right?
A: So they are out of control. What difference
does it make if you fight them or not? Could you
just let them pass?
A: Now could you just say to them, "You are welcome?"
Just tear down the barbed-wire fence and say, "Come
play in my garden?"
A: Now does it make any difference to peace?
A: How about emotions? Could they come and go?
S: Oh, God! I really don't like some of them.
A: I know. And does it serve you to not like them?
S: No, it doesn't really.
A: Don't they come on their own?
S: They really do.
A: If you lock your door and barricade yourself against
them, what do they end up doing?
S: They show up anyway and pound the door down.
A: They pound the door down or they get in through
the window, right? So why not just open the door and
welcome them in? And I will tell you one thing, if
you open your doors and welcome them as guests, you
will find that each and every one of them is a friend
with a gift. I can tell you this from personal experience.
Unbearable as it may seem, once you open the door and
say, "Come in and sit by the fire," grief becomes your
depth. Jealousy will become your freedom. Anger will
become your power. Welcome everything.
Tell me now, what can disturb peace now?
A: Could you even welcome pain in the name of freedom?
If it meant your freedom, could you welcome pain? You
think that awakening is the end of pain? Actually, it
is the end of identification, but everything that has
been pushed away rushes in to be completed.
[ See: "The Question of Identity"
If you welcome pain, if you just say to it, "Come,"
it will not disturb peace. It will just pass through
like a guest. So in the name of this freedom which
you are now resting in, could you include pain, too?
If you just try it, you find there is nothing to resist....
There is no reason to leave this if you can just abandon
the allegiance to the idea, "I can't do it." There is no
"I," and there is nothing to do. Truly, the invitation
is to rest here. Even in the midst of trouble, there is
Any problems now?
A: And now?
A: That's all. You've got it. All there is, is now.
[ See: "The Infinite Present"
You know what? I'll tell you something. I have a nose
for these things. The thoughts might say, "This could
go away." But I'll tell you what I can smell. It's
going to get deeper, and deeper, and deeper. It's
going to take over your heart in such depth of love
and compassion that you will drown in it ecstatically.
And there is nothing you can do about it!
[ See: "Overwhelming Delight"
The gates are wide open, you see. You can choose to
hang on to cynicism, to tradition, to ideas and teachings,
but what does it give you? Or, you can choose freedom now.
You can choose to be That. It is available right now, and
now, and now. It is not a state of being that you access
by flipping a switch, and after that you are enlightened.
It is a choice that is made every single moment of every
day -- to choose freedom over the soap opera.
Wisdom and Insights http://awakening.net/Wisdom.html
When we have slept long enough,
the moment will come when we simply
awake into awareness.
The world is not imperfect or slowly
evolving along a path toward perfection.
No, it is perfect at every moment.
The source of suffering is not in the perception,
but in the interpretation.
_Beyond Psychology: A Living Exploration of
That Which Does Not Belong to The Mind_
What you notice becomes your life.
Those who are awake
live in a state of constant amazement.
Become a Buddha, and enter the bath.
Sign over the bath house door
in a Japanese Zen monastery
Mentoring Letter http://awakening.net/Letters.html
The following letter is a chat transcript excerpted from
Metta's Insight Mentoring correspondence:
AIA's Insight Mentoring Archives
You may receive occasional copies of Metta's mentoring letters
by subscribing to AIA's free Mentoring Letters mailing list:
* * * * *
Nothing is Missing
Metta: Do you have any particular questions with which you
would like to begin?
Visitor: For a long time I was with an Advaitan teacher,
and then two years ago my guru died.
Metta: I'm sorry to hear this. How did you feel when he
died, and where does this leave you now?
Visitor: I feel I am out on my own, just living my life
with my family, and I am wondering: how can this process
of searching be brought to an end? I feel disconnected....
Something is still missing....
Metta: The search ends when we realize it is no longer
necessary -- when we realize that the sense of separation
which initiated the search is simply an illusion...a
misinterpretation of our experience.
In reality, we only *imagine* that something is missing.
Visitor: So, nothing is missing?
Metta: Exactly. This is the change in perception that
is described as "Awakening"...realizing suddenly (or
gradually) the truth within these words:
"Nothing is missing."
Visitor: Was your awakening sudden or more gradual?
Mine seems to be taking a long time....
Metta: Mine was sudden. Most are gradual. And, mine
*was* preceded by a gradual series of discoveries.
I also hasten to add: I am still discovering the
implications of this Truth within my own day-to-day
It is also important to realize that "seeming to take
a long time" is based, as you can see, on an expectation
that something is missing. It is this root belief that
undermines our ability to appreciate what is here/now.
Visitor: The conditioning for "later" is very strong....
Metta: Indeed, it is! We live for years with
strong, imbedded assumptions about the nature of time,
and yet past and future really are only an illusion. It
is also important to realize when I say this that I do
*not* mean it metaphorically. Past and future literally
are an illusion! We *only* exist within the present moment.
Your own immediate experience is a direct and irrefutable
confirmation of this reality: There is no "later." There
is only NOW. You can, in fact, *never* escape the present
moment and the Reality inherent within it.
Visitor: So all worries are in the present moment only?
Metta: Exactly! They are only in the present moment.
Worries are when the mind leaves the present moment.
But, this movement happens in the mind. It is only
the mind that wanders.
Visitor: Then, who am I?
Metta: That *is* the question, is it not?
Visitor: It is....I mean, this "I" must be something
the mind can't think of....
Metta: Yes! Exactly! You are the spacious Awareness
*within* which the mind, and all its wandering thoughts,
Visitor: I have experienced this many times....
Metta: Of course! I'm so glad you recognize this.
Visitor: But, I seem to have lost sight of it...?
Metta: Yes, that is the nature of the mind: to forget
and to get distracted with details.
Metta: As you can see, this Awareness is *always*
present. The mind just "loses sight of it" -- not
realizing that our capacity to see/perceive *is*
Visitor: ...and then?
Metta: And, then what? What more is needed?
Visitor: I see.
Visitor: This is such a lovely chat....
Metta: I agree! Thank you so much....
Visitor: Thank you. I missed hearing the words
Metta: Hearing the words? The reminders of what
you already know?
Visitor: Yes. And what I have forgotten. I
can still hear my guru speaking in a way....
Metta: Yes, If we listen deeply enough, we can
hear Truth echoing within everything we hear.
What is important to realize now is that this
Truth is *yours* -- not just your guru's....
Your teacher has disappeared because s/he is
no longer needed.
Visitor: This brings tears to my eyes....
Visitor: Just so....
Metta: Yes. Just so....Precious moments,
Visitor: I realized it all comes down to love, finally....
Metta: Yes, love is enough. There really *is* nothing missing.
Visitor: Thank you so much, Metta.
Metta: You are very welcome....
Visitor: As my guru used to say, I bow for Thy wisdom....
Metta: And I for yours. This has been an honor. Many thanks.
Visitor: Thank you!
Metta's Reflections http://awakening.net/Reflections.html
You may receive copies of Metta's Reflections on a daily basis
by subscribing to AIA's "In This Moment" mailing list:
* * * * *
Beyond All Seeking...
Seeking is based on a
Beyond all seeking
lies the discovery of
Infinite Completeness --
an undeniable recognition
that nothing is missing.
The present moment is
pure, crystalline and luminescent.
It is only our attachments,
distractions and preoccupations
which obscure this innate,
natural clear light.
Recognize the Miraculous
Let go of your attachment to
this or that.
Cultivate your ability
to recognize the miraculous
Revelation of Reality
The entire manifest universe
exists as a revelation of
THAT which is fundamental,
Essential and Real.
Trust the impulses of creativity
stirring within you.
They are the energy of Life
seeking expression through you.
Reader Reflections http://awakening.net/Reflections.html
These reflections from AIA readers are shared with gratitude
for the generosity of the authors....
* * * * *
The Actuality of Life James Ayers-DiPadua
I went outside the other day. The air was warm with a comfort
cool breeze. The light came in a warm, dulling gray. The ashed
sky let me see. No obscurities. The trees looked sad with
nakedness. I saw through the leafless veneer. Within the
cowering trees remained a tree of pure white. The center of
life amongst the drained deciduous. The clouds, the wind, my
essence flowed inward. I felt compelled. The tree's ability
to draw life may scare some. I had no worries. It wasn't the
tree that was so perfect; the actuality of life was. I saw for
an instant what life might be. Humanity's lesson never noticed.
Forever fixed within that moment, I remain. I smile.
Space Roger Cotgreave
Yin & Yang appear in a circle of emptiness in the Tai Chi
diagram. This well of Being is where we return to each night
in deep sleep and what we resist most of the day. The Tao
claims us back each evening.
Inquire into Space as being that emptiness of the Tai Chi
symbol. Start to see that the silence of Space allows all
sound to speak its story. The stillness of Space allows all
motion to appear and disappear into it. Notice that Space
does not stop at any surface but permeates all things. It
unifies, not divides. Space is not going anywhere, it is
already everywhere. What could be beyond Space?
Invite Space forward into your daily practice and life
experience. This 'allowing' Space is the very Freedom we
seek. Read the Tao Te Ching and subsitute Space for the word
Tao. Realise that you are here in the living Tao right now.
Space is a living presence and energy is active within it.
Attend with non-judgmental awareness...and you may come
across this Emptiness.
| If you have any reflections or questions about the |
| experience of Awakening you would like to share, |
| please feel free to send them to: AIA@awakening.net. |
| In addition: your feedback and reflections about the |
| AIA ezine and website are always welcome. I will |
| look forward to hearing from you! - Metta |
Reader Resources http://awakening.net/Links.html
The Wei Wu Wei Archives
[From the site]
"This site is intended as a resource for those interested in
or curious about Buddhist/Taoist philosopher and essayist
Wei Wu Wei. It includes extracts from eight books published
1958-1974, all but one of which are currently out of print.
It also contains essays published in various periodicals
during the same period. The material is primarily metaphysical
speculation, and is not representative of any particular
sect or tradition, though it draws upon many."
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as well as mainstream stores like Amazon, Borders,
CDNOW, etc. and create a dontation for your favorite
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